I could go back to my childhood to look at where I might have built my views on what it takes to be a 'real man'. There were many influences in my childhood from older male relatives to the male stars in movies, from characters in books to news and media stories. How close is the 'real man' to the real person?

I can still hear the old sayings, which were directed at me more times than I care to remember. 'Big boys don't cry', 'only girlies do that', 'be a man, get out there and stick up for yourself', need I go on?

In all honesty I used to think I knew what it took to be a 'real man' though I am no longer sure. I feared losing my maleness when I chose to pursue counselling as a profession, or a caring profession very much associated with females. I have my own interpretation of what I consider a 'real man' to be and it ties in with being a real person. My interpretation is personal to me, shaped by my personal experiences and my personal view of the world around me.

Perhaps sometimes this need to be a real man, these masculine expectations, are restricting in as much as they might tend to give a very distorted view of life in general.

Yes I am a man but I am also a person and each is as 'real' as the other. I have feelings and emotions (female traits?) and yes at times these feelings or emotions might manifest themselves in the form of anger (male trait?), but this is also part of being a real person.